Thoughts and Feeling

 

By: Josh Lewis

I’ve been told I have a way with words.

I express my gratitude in a large heartfelt paragraph explaining why the person means so much to me. I don’t know how I got this way. I guess it’s just because that’s how my brain functions. I need to have every detail perfect and explained. I cannot miss one thing or I get upset. It helps when I write music and poetry or even things like this.

I like writing.

It’s therapeutic. It allows me to express thoughts to myself that I don’t tell other people about. I struggle with things that I don’t want to dump on other people and I come to my computer and type all of it out.

I use writing in my music

My music is heavily influenced by my thoughts and life occurrences. Sometimes, I’ll come back to these long paragraphs that I write to preview my thoughts and then incorporate them into my music. I often find myself not knowing what to do for my music, but with some of my thoughts all laid out in front of me. I will be honest, most of the things I write down are the not so positive ones because as I said before, I like to type things out for myself and not share them, except for this time, where I’m typing them down for my English class. Sometimes they can get kind of deep so I hope they’re enjoyable. I digress. Although a lot of these thoughts are negative, first off it makes for some pretty darn good music, and second, it allows me to see my growth as a person. To reflect on my past mindsets and see how much I’ve improved is really good for me. It gives me a sense of empowerment. I’ve gone through some crap that messed me up, but this is slowly helping me get through it. Healing is a slow process, and yes, it’s nice to have people with me to help, but sometimes a person needs to overcome their own demon by themselves. I have to say, Josh, I know you’re reading this in the future. I don’t know where you are mentally, but you’re doing great. Don’t stop pushing forward. Both to myself and the reader. It gets better, trust me. Someday you’ll be alright, and you have to remember that. Every day may feel like a battle, but the thing about battles is that they always end. The best part about the battles in the mind is that as long as you keep the thought of “I can do this” in your head, you’ll always turn up on top. You may feel like Emily Dickenson and feel like there’s a funeral in your brain, but here’s some news buddy, that funeral isn’t happening anytime soon. Don’t give up yet, because you’ve got one heck of a life to live, so you better enjoy it till the end, because life is too short to be upset about everything. There will always be hardships, but they will pass. They always do.

You aren’t alone, dear reader. Whoever you may be.

And I hope I was able to empower you, as I try to do with everyone.